When the Stress of Covid-19 Triggers Trauma

Many people who experience trauma try to just put the experience behind them. They mistakenly ignore the ramifications of traumatic events pretending like they never happened. The thing is that triggers eventually pop up. A trigger is a type of stimulus that reminds you of a past trauma. It can be as predictable as a smell or a sound, but it can also be much more complicated. Triggers don’t just make you uncomfortable, they can cause you to relive the entire traumatic event all over again. People are complex human beings and unaddressed trauma can leave you feeling helpless.

Stress and Trauma Are Related

When you say the word ‘trauma,’ people automatically think of physical events or injuries, but trauma can be emotional, too. The sudden death of a loved one or an unexpected divorce can often cause emotional trauma. Sometimes just witnessing a tragic event can cause emotional trauma. Any type of trauma causes a stress response in your body. Chemicals are released to physically prepare you for the fight or flight response. This is a natural and inevitable process which can repeat itself during a flashback. Your blood pressure and heart rate are naturally increased, and you may begin sweating. You may also go through other changes as you try to cope. Some people experience nightmares and/or mood swings while others tend to withdraw from family and friends. You may also develop more severe symptoms like anxiety, fear, or depression. Everyone deals with trauma differently.

Traumatic Stress of Covid-19

The fear and uncertainty of the covid-19 pandemic is intense and unpredictable. Lockdowns have altered daily schedules and prevented the in-person socialization people have come to depend on. Fear of a loved one falling ill, or getting sick yourself, can cause severe anxiety. The long-term stress of extreme lifestyle changes and lack of confidence in a resolution eventually take a toll. Even those with no history of trauma are susceptible to the chronic stress of covid-19 and we have much to learn of the long-term ramifications. Unfortunately, those already coping with past trauma can be especially vulnerable to the stress and social isolation caused by the pandemic. Research shows that social support systems dramatically reduce mental health deterioration.  Extended isolation can increase the symptoms of unresolved trauma.

Managing Stress and Anxiety

The symptoms of trauma manifest differently for each person. Chronic unresolved stress and anxiety can trigger the pain of traumatic events. Luckily, it is possible to treat the mind, body, and spirit as you learn healthy coping mechanisms to help you heal from trauma. If you’re dealing with unresolved trauma or anxiety due to the stress of covid-19, contact Joe Langheim Counseling today to schedule a consultation. I’m a passionate experienced certified trauma therapist who utilizes several gentle therapeutic modalities to help people discover their purpose and power. 

The Toll of Emotionally Abusive Relationships

Emotional abuse can be hard to notice from the outside. We can easily see the signs of physical abuse as they often leave lasting bruises and visible scars. However, a relationship that involves emotional abuse may worsen over time and leave the victim questioning their reality. There is often a pattern to emotional abuse, and it usually consists of a combination of manipulating a person with control tactics and using a person's fear against them.

Control

A relationship in which one person is under the control of another is not healthy. Sometimes, a person's control over another is quite overt. The abuser may clearly state what their partner is allowed to do, where they are allowed to go, allowed to wear, or allowed to eat. Often the control is more covert than this. Emotional abusers may use criticism, guilt, and shame to control what their partner does. For example, a partner might belittle your sense of responsibility, therefore, making themselves the sole decision-maker in the relationship. Sometimes a partner might intentionally upset the other person to shame them for their reaction.

Isolation

To adequately possess control over a person emotionally, an abuser often seeks to isolate the person. A victim may be separated from other people they're close to, and they may also be isolated from the activities that make them feel good about themselves. Once again, isolation may be achieved by overt orders. An abuser can also use manipulation tactics such as belittling their partner's friends and family to erode their relationship. You may find that a partner has simply taken up all of your time, leaving you no time for other people or activities.

Fear

A person in an emotionally abusive relationship is often in fear. They may be afraid to go against their partner's wishes for fear of verbal abuse. This may involve yelling, name-calling and criticism. Your partner may be tuned into those deep fears within you, such as your worries about how other people perceive you and use them against you to control your behavior. One of the most painful punishments is the withholding of affection. When one partner wants to discuss problems in the relationship, the emotionally abusive partner may trivialize their concerns, telling them that they're making a problem out of nothing.

Lasting Effects

If you're in the midst of a relationship like this, you may be feeling confused, afraid, hopeless, and ashamed. Mental abuse can make people question their reality and whether they're crazy for feeling that the situation is problematic. You may also be experiencing brain fog and stress that makes your daily activities difficult such as anxiety symptoms, psychosomatic pain, and low self-esteem. Emotional abuse can also cause persistent and prolonged symptoms of trauma, such as with PTSD or CPTSD.

Consider setting boundaries or breaking away from a relationship involving emotional abuse. Practice self-care with exercise, reaching out to loved ones, getting active again, eating a healthy diet, and prioritizing your rest. Talk therapy is an excellent option for moving past the pain of an emotionally abusive relationship. As a Certified Trauma Therapist, I know the disruption that these experiences can cause to the mind, body, and spirit. Contact me so that I can help you to make sense of the past and move forward with your healing.

Are You Suffering From CPTSD

The condition, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), has become relatively well known over the years. Many people think of war veterans, rape victims, or survivors of severely violent experiences when they hear the term. However, Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD) is a condition that is becoming more widely known and discussed. To understand the difference, let’s revisit the causes of symptoms of PTSD.

PTSD

Those experiencing PTSD often experience symptoms affecting their thinking and behavior. Intrusive thoughts and images can be very stressful for patients. In response to these intrusions, sufferers may alter their behavior by avoiding certain situations that remind them of the stressful event. Feelings of fear, self-blame, shame, and numbness are common amongst those affected. These symptoms are the brain’s reaction to a traumatic event. Although people often associate PTSD with war, it can affect anyone who has undergone an experience that they found to be significantly traumatic.

How CPTSD Differs

While PTSD usually refers to an isolated event that resulted in extreme stress and trauma, CPTSD is caused by continuous trauma over a more extended period. Patients also report additional symptoms than those associated with PTSD.

Symptoms

Along with PTSD symptoms of intrusive memories and avoidance of triggers, CPTSD patients experience difficulty regulating emotions, dissociation, negative perception of self, and difficulty maintaining healthy relationships. Those who have been in a long-standing relationship with an abuser may suffer from perceptual distortions of their abuser. Patients often feel they’ve lost their understanding of life’s meaning. Feeling hopeless and without faith is a familiar and stressful feeling for those experiencing CPTSD.

Causes

Long-term trauma, especially by a caregiver, seems to cause some to suffer from these painful thoughts and feelings. These traumatic experiences could include long-term abuse (physical, emotional, or sexual), childhood neglect, or prolonged exposure to dangerous circumstances.

Outlook

There are options for treating and managing the symptoms of CPTSD. Many find improvement of their feelings and thoughts with therapy, treatment, and/or medication. In therapy, patients can learn to notice their negative thought patterns and strategies for replacing them with healthy alternatives.

No matter how dark your past, I believe that you can heal. I have spent over ten years working with patients who have experienced traumatic events. Using traditional therapy along with gentle therapeutic modalities, I aim to help my patients discover their power and purpose. If you’ve experienced trauma and are suffering from symptoms of PTSD or CPTSD, contact me for a consultation. 

How to Keep Your Stress in Check this Holiday Season

The holiday season is filled with presents, gatherings and tons of great food. However, this time of year can also be extremely stressful. A recent study found that over 88% of Americans claim that they feel extremely stressed during the holiday season. If you spend this entire holiday season stressed out, you will miss out on the fun and excitement is has to offer. 

Addressing the underlying causes of your stress and anxiety is only possible with the help of a mental health professional like Joe Langheim. He is a therapist that believes in treating the whole person, which means getting their spirit, mind and body healthy. 

If you are looking for ways to keep your stress in check during the holidays, check out the helpful information below. 

Find Some Time to Be Alone

While spending time with friends and family members during the holidays can be fun, it can also be a bit stressful and frustrating. In most cases, too much time around some of the people in your inner-circle can put you on edge. Instead of spending every waking moment of the holidays with other people, you need to schedule some alone time. By spending some time alone, you can decompress and relax. 

During this alone time, you may want to meditate or do some breathing exercises. Both of these practices can help put your mind at ease and lower the amount of stress in your life. 

Avoid Financial-Induced Stress With a Budget

Buying gifts for all of the people in your life can get expensive. Spending too much money on these gifts can lead to you getting stressed out. If you want to avoid this financial-induced stress, you need to create a budget before you start shopping and stick to it. You also need to be mindful about how much time you have to shop for and wrap the presents you plan on giving. 

Your stress levels will rise substantially if you procrastinate when it comes to getting these gifts. If you get an early stop on holiday shopping, you can get what you need before it is a madhouse in the stores in your area. 

Give Back By Volunteering

During the holidays, people get so wrapped up in the monetary side of giving. Rather than putting so much emphasis on material things during the holidays, you need to think about giving the gift of your time to charitable organizations in your area. 

Going in and volunteering at a soup kitchen or helping out during a toy drive can be a lot of fun. Volunteering also allows gives you an opportunity to focus on something other than the problems in your life. With some research, you can find charitable organizations in your area that need help during this time of year. 

Need Help Managing Your Stress and Anxiety?

Are you having problems getting your stress under control? Contact Joe Langheim Counseling to schedule an appointment today!

The Top Signs You Are Dealing with an Unhealthy Relationship

There is no class when you are growing up that teaches you to be a decent partner. While you may learn the biology of sex, the legal aspects of marriage, and even read a few obscure love stories, this does not provide an actual picture of how to be good to someone else when in a relationship.

While some people can gather this information from their parents and other adults in their life, this is not the case for everyone. Unfortunately, this is what leads to toxic people and toxic relationships.

Sometimes, the signs of a toxic relationship are clear, but they can also be subtle and hard to detect. Knowing what to look for is the best way to determine if it is time to take a step back or make a move. Some of the top signs of a toxic relationship can be found here.

There's a Scorecard

When someone keeps score, it means they will continue blaming you for past mistakes you made. If both people begin to do this, you will develop a type of "relationship scorecard." This essentially turns your entire relationships into a battle to see who has made the most mistakes and who is more indebted to the other.

When this happens, you use guilt and bitterness from the past to try and manipulate your partner in the present. This is an ongoing cycle and something that will lead to serious issues for anyone, regardless of how long you have been together.

Passive Aggressive Behavior

Rather than saying something out loud and upfront, one person in your relationship tries to nudge someone in the right direction to figure out what they are thinking or what they want. Rather than saying what is upsetting you, you find small and often petty ways to make the other person mad. When this happens, you feel justified when you complain to them.

If this happens, it means there are serious communication issues in your relationship. If you cannot improve communication, your relationship is doomed to fail.

Holding Your Relationship Hostage

When one of you has a simple complaint or criticism and tries to blackmail the other by threatening the relationship's commitment, this is not a good sign. If you hold your relationship hostage, it is not good for anyone and will create many unnecessary drama.

How to Handle Toxic Relationships

When it comes to a toxic relationship, there are many factors to consider. However, one of the most important things is to take steps to change. If you are a problem, you have to find a way to improve the situation. If the other person is the problem, the only option may be to leave – after all, it is impossible to change someone who does not want to change.

By taking the right steps and seeking professional help, you can overcome the issues related to a toxic relationship and finally enjoy the way love is supposed to be.

Practicing Meditation For Stress Relief

This year has been one that has created stress for almost everyone. With uncertainty around every corner, the threat to health and safety, and financial implications, stress is at its an all-time high. While a certain amount of stress is normal, we are experiencing unprecedented times which leads to unchecked stress levels. Ongoing stress can lead to much more harmful mental and physical conditions such as depression, anxiety, substance abuse, and weight fluctuations, which can all have negative effects on our body. One of the best strategies that we can employ when combating stress is that of meditation.

Practice Of Meditation

It is common for people to hear the word meditation and think of Tibetan monks sitting still in the dark for days on end chanting mantras in unfamiliar tongues. While this is a form of meditation, what many people don’t realize is that there are many different types, most of which are really simple and easy to practice. Meditation is a practice where an individual attempts to focus their mind in order to gain mindfulness and awareness. This can be done anywhere in the world with no external tools needed.

Alleviating Stress & Anxiety

Meditation brings many positive benefits for the individual practicing it. The first major benefit is that it controls anxiety. Studies have shown that when people regularly practice mindful meditation, they report feeling less stress and higher levels of relaxation. Less stress equals less anxiety.  Studies have even found that meditation helps to alleviate some anxiety disorders and ease their symptoms, and some researchers go as far as to say it can cure anxiety altogether.

Increasing Self Awareness

Meditation can also strengthen your self-awareness. Self-awareness is simply a better understanding of yourself and the environment around you. Strong self-awareness can help you to grow as a person and learn to see the world for what it really is, instead of assumptions that you make up in your mind. Finding your truth and your reality is helpful in being able to successfully remediate problems and blockages that may exist in your life.

Boosting Positive Mental Health

Meditation has also been proven to be beneficial for your mental health, as it helps to erase toxic traits buried deep in your subconscious, such as low self-esteem and intense self-criticism. Meditation can also help you to combat feelings of loneliness, as you learn that you’re never truly alone because all things are connected.

Strengthening Focus & Memory

Finally, meditation can help your focus and improve your memory. Research has shown that meditation can help to increase your attention span and helps aid with short term memory, as well as long term memory recollection. Gaining control over your own mind and your ability to retain information helps increase confidence and allows you to use your brain to solve problems in a constructive manner.

Seeking Assistance

Meditation is a form of stress reduction that anyone can practice by themselves in the comfort of their surroundings. However, sometimes we need more assistance in managing stress and anxiety that has become overpowering in our lives. If you live with chronic stress and anxiety or trauma-related stress, we can help you find your way through to a more healthy state of being. Contact Joe Langheim LMHC, LPC, CTT to find out how we can assist you on your journey to a stress-free life.

Is Trauma a “Big Deal?”

To some people, this question has an easy answer. For others, it might be easy to skate over that answer and kind of shrug it off – because they might not really know about trauma or have much experience with it.

If you're someone who has suffered trauma in your life, you know that it is a big deal. But how do you get other people to realize that?

In therapy, you need someone with key knowledge about how trauma healing works. But you also need someone who understands that your problems are a big deal and that you need a way to communicate that to the world.

Much of the problem with certain types of trauma is that people feel unheard and alone as they struggle through the rest of their lives. Healing and resolution happen in a social context, to some extent – when you feel more confident that you can make others understand, you feel more able to work through trauma, work past it and change your life in positive ways. This kind of agency is critically important through long-term work on trauma and recovery. 

At Joe Langheim, we offer various modalities to help deal with trauma, but for everyone coming in the door, we start with the premise that this type of assistance is vitally important. We start from the standpoint that we are here to help our clients to overcome their struggles and rebuild things that are broken, in whatever form that may take. 

Part of this process is unlearning various things that have impacted our ability to live in a healthy way. Sadly, it's so easy for trauma to cloud our vision and distort our perceptions of reality. We learn unhealthy habits through the impact of trauma on our lives and then those things are hard to put aside later. Then there’s that need to be listened to, to feel the agency that you need to change. Solutions are multi-modal. There are strategies and techniques for healing, but there’s also the overall context of how you relate to others. 

The good news, though, is that we can unlearn these things and rebuild a positive life that works in a healthy way. That's what we are about at the office of Joe Langheim. We have the tools and resources to address the deep-seated trauma that has become a part of your life and help you to walk through to the other side.

The Biggest Emotional and Mental Benefits Offered by Meditation

Meditation provides you with a secure connection between your external and internal worlds. It helps awaken your body and benefits all aspects of your conscious and subconscious mind. Learn about some of the most significant health benefits offered by regular meditation here. Knowing what this offers will help ensure you get the desired results from your meditation activities.

Meditation Helps Enhance Empathy

Compassion or loving-kindness meditation helps ignite neural connection to brain sites that help regulate positive emotions, such as kindness and empathy. The significant flow that meditation induces and helps build sensations of social connectedness and makes you a more amicable and affectionate person.

Meditation Helps Improve Cognition

Most experts agree an excellent way for professionals to increase the chances of success is to ensure meditation practice is part of your day-to-day routine. Studies have also revealed that mindfulness and transcendent meditation practices help improve the brain’s decision-making and problem-solving strategies. This can help bring a desirable shift in your professional life.

Meditation Is a Natural Stress Stabilizer

Stress is the response the body has during unforeseen adversities. When you encounter immediate threats, it will increase cortisol levels (this is the stress hormone) in your body. It will also activate the Autonomic Nervous system. This is responsible for the fight-or-flight responses you experience. According to brain studies done on regular meditators, it has been revealed that they have much lower levels of cortisol present in their brains. This explains their insightful nature and resilience.

Meditation Helps Promote Emotional Well-Being and Health

Countless studies have proven that meditation helps improve your self-worth and self-image. When you meditate, you get a clearer picture of your mind, and you will become more aware of the thoughts that drive your actions and emotions at a specific moment in time.

Another study has shown that regular meditation helps to reduce the likelihood of developing mood-related disorders and depression. There are some forms of meditative practices that also help to promote positive thinking and could even help improve a person’s emotional health.

Meditation Helps Increase Attention by Creating a State of Flow

When you meditate, you get absorbed at the moment. When you meditate, mindful awareness will come naturally, and you will reach a state of “flow” where your mind is in total harmony with itself. A study on the effects of people who engaged in an eight-week mindful meditation course found that those who meditated regularly had an improved concentration and attention span. Even those who meditated for shorter durations had more focus than those who never meditated at all.

Is Meditation Right for You?

When it comes to meditation, there are more than a few things that you should know. If you want to improve your emotional and mental health, there is no question that meditation is a smart tactic. Keep this in mind when you are trying to improve your health, as it is going to provide all the benefits here, and more.

How to Change Your Life This Summer

The idea of changing your life can sound impossible. It often seems like participating in death-defying leaps of faith or experiencing an event that can only be seen in movies. However, changing your life is easier than you think. There are steps you take this summer that will have positive, long-lasting effects for years to come.

1) Accept the desire to change.

To truly change your life, you must accept the desire to change. You may have been through trauma in your life that you never allowed yourself to process. Or maybe you are experiencing such a level of stress right now you can't handle the day-to-day very well anymore. Right now, immediately, accept that you want to change your situation. To take a healthy step forward, you must do the work in rewriting your story. I can help you with that.

2) Get rid of negative thinking.

What is your inner dialogue? How do you process the world? Pay attention to your thoughts and how you speak to yourself because it shapes how we experience the world and how we see ourselves. Yet, if you have experienced hurt and pain, merely forcing yourself not to think a certain way doesn't work. Begin by showing love to yourself and identify where the negative thinking originated. You may want to start journaling and write down these thoughts as they come into your mind. Ask yourself if the negative thought is true and begin a loving relationship with the hurt part of you that embraces this thinking.

3) Cut down on social media.

Now more than ever, social media lead to a downward spiral of negative, critical thinking. How often do you look at social media and begin thinking terribly about yourself? How many times on social media do you compare your life to others? This summer reduce how much time you spend on social media. Give yourself a certain time limit if you must use it. Studies have shown that by reducing your time on social media, you are improving your overall mental health and wellbeing. By the end of the summer, you may not want to return at all.

Changing your life sounds like a big idea. It seems almost impossible. But the right type of change happens within. It isn't about the exterior, but the interior. In fact, by learning how to change yourself on the inside, you'll feel better about yourself on the outside too. Now more than ever, as we look at the world around us, we must begin to embrace that healing needs to start – and that leads to the best kind of change. Begin it today with me.

New Habits, New Life: Therapy’s Transformative Power

Sometimes you just need a new outlook on things. But there's more to it than just deciding to change your mind.

We, humans, are curious creatures – we are built with an amazingly powerful brain that has a lot of different infrastructure and twists and turns. As technology guru, Marvin Minsky used to say: our brains are not one machine; they are are a combination of 400 different machines!

That means that our instincts and emotional responses are difficult to change. That is unless you have the right technique. As doctors and others work on the behavioral side of neuroscience, we have uncovered many secrets about how to use the power of the brain correctly, how to heal problems with the mind, and how to advance mental health care for the average patient and the outlier, too.

Modern Therapy Modalities

New research into groundbreaking therapy modalities is changing the landscape of how we deal with habits and the handling of fear and trauma in our lives.

There's a lot that's new about how therapists are working to help people to re-craft their daily life and set themselves on a new course. Knowing a little more about these types of work gives those suffering from various kinds of mental illness hope. They can see the light at the end of the tunnel, instead of despairing that they may be stuck with their problems forever. 

The Power of Breathwork

Some of these modalities have a physical component. For example, there is breathwork where working at changing your respiratory process and body positioning can lead you toward better outcomes. This is where we often talk about the mind-body connection and how that works. Holistic care takes into account the power of the brain to change our physiologies over time, for example, working with the basic vitals (heart rate, blood pressure, etc.) We also think about the inverse: how our physiology can produce good effects on our minds, for example, with endorphins or oxytocin responses. 

Changing Emotional Responses for the Better

Then there are other techniques that are more geared toward a purely emotional framework. The process of envisioning a calm place, along with techniques which some people describe as "havening" is one of these approaches. As we learn to use our innate power of imagination to conquer fear and trauma, we get closer to eliminating the negative effects of conditions like PTSD and chronic anxiety from our lives.

This is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to what can be done in today's modern therapy model. Talk to Joe Langheim about what you're dealing with, and how cutting-edge science can help you to change your mentality and your mindset for better days ahead.

What are Common Symptoms of PTSD?

After a traumatic event, some individuals find that they experience numerous symptoms that impact their daily activities. The person may find that they have difficulty sleeping, memory issues, or experience ongoing anxiety. These symptoms can happen in patients of all ages that have experienced trauma and are not limited to a single gender. An individual also does not have to have experienced combat to be diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Instead, they must have experienced a traumatic event and still be struggling with the after effects of said event.

There are several symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder, and a person may experience all of them, some of them, or different symptoms on different days. Some common symptoms include: 

Intrusive Distressing Memories 

 A person who experiences this symptom may find that as they're going about their daily activities, they remember the traumatic event. This can occur all in part, and it may be triggered by a sound, scent, texture, specific words, or nothing that the individual can determine. These memories are sometimes called "flashbacks." These individuals may also experience nightmares or distressing dreams, which can make it difficult to get the sleep that they need. 

Emotional Numbness 

Individuals who are diagnosed with PTSD may have difficulty expressing emotion or feeling emotion at all. They may feel numb or detached from their feelings as if they cannot match up the way they "should" feel in a situation with their internal dialogue. They may find that they have no emotion at all in many situations or that they struggle to feel the appropriate emotion for the given situation. 

Avoiding Specific Locations

People diagnosed with PTSD may find that they need to stay away from certain types of locations that remind them of the traumatic event so that they can avoid breaking down or experiencing intrusive thoughts. These locations could be similar to the place where the event happened, or they may have similar characteristics, sights, or smells. 

Hypervigilance 

For a person with PTSD to feel safe, they often must complete a specific series of tasks so that they know their environment is secure enough. They may be extremely concerned with their own safety and the safety of their friends or members of their family. Often trauma survivors use a degree of magical thinking, believing that if they can prepare enough and control their environment well enough, they can avoid future traumas. 

Post-traumatic stress disorder is a very complicated mental health condition that can be treated with a combination of medication and therapy. In many cases, individuals that suffer from these symptoms can experience a dramatic reduction in symptoms with treatment. Contact a mental health specialist today to find out more about treatment and to schedule an initial evaluation.

Enduring The Effects Of Trauma

Trauma can often be unavoidable, how we experience the effects of trauma can have lasting effects on our emotional and physical health. Psychological and emotional trauma results from experiencing extraordinarily stressful events that create feelings of helplessness that will shatter your sense of security and leave you struggling with anxiety and depression. 

For some people who experience emotional or psychological trauma, feelings of emotional numbness and disconnection can hinder relationships with loved ones. The anxiety produced from these feelings can be crippling, leaving people unable to properly manage their lives, which then creates a path to depression. 

What Is A Traumatic Experience?

While traumatic experiences can often involve a threat to life or personal safety, any situation that leaves you feeling overwhelmed and isolated can also result in trauma, regardless of any physical harm being involved. Your subjective emotional experience of the event is what causes the trauma, not the events' objective circumstances. 

The bottom line is that if an experience or event leaves you feeling helpless and frightened, you are more likely to be traumatized. Some people may experience trauma from simply viewing horrific images on social media and news sources. Seeing these images repeatedly can overwhelm your nervous system and create traumatic stress. 

Trauma In This Digital Age

In this modern era of social media and technology, we are seeing an increase in anxiety, stress, and trauma resulting from prolonged exposure to negative and frightening images and ideas. Children are often greatly affected by the negative messages that they are viewing and receiving through their connections with smartphones and computers. 

Trauma can result in an adolescent as rumors spread like wildfire with the simple touch of a button. For many victims of online bullying, the idea that many people are involved in a personal matter, whether the circumstances are true or false, can become too much to bear. The stress and anxiety of this trauma can have lasting and devastating consequences. 

Fortunately, trauma does not have to dictate the course of your life. Whatever the cause of your trauma, and regardless of how long ago or recently that it occurred, you can make healing changes that allow you to lead a fulfilling life. Recognizing that you are under pressure that you are unable to manage on your own, effectively, is the first step to healing. Contact Joe Langheim LMHC, LPC, CTT for consultation and help if you or a loved one has experienced trauma and is in need of help.

Miracles

I remember as a child being taught about miracles. The story of Jesus walking on water. He did the impossible and so it was a miracle. But He was the son of God, I was not. So I could not experience miracles, if I was lucky enough to experience one it was out of my control and it was one in a lifetime. So I was on my own living under the pressure of life without help from the universe. I was scared, vulnerable, and bound to fail.

Then my eyes were open a few years ago. My mentor taught me the truth. Miracles are the impossible happening, true. The impossible becoming possible. But that there were “degrees” of miracles. A change of thought. A different experience. Then I was taught that in spiritually there are no degrees. It is or is not. So if I experience a “little” miracle it is as important and valid as a “big” miracle. A change in thought was the SAME as walking on water.

My mentor asked me to look for three miracles within the week. A few days passes, I see nothing. And I am feeling down. Scared, depressed, lonely. I find myself at the gas station getting gas. I was so down and depressed. I felt hopeless. For whatever reason, I have this thought, “I would pay ANYTHING TO FEEL BETTER.” I go inside to pay, the woman behind the counter says, “how are you?” with a smile, nothing happens. I walk outside and I feel BETTER. There is a smile on my face. And I realize… MIRACLE. What seemed impossible, became possible. And my life opened like never before SLOWLY. I began to see more and more “little” miracles, and thank God. Because I couldn’t handle the idea of “big” miracles because I was caught up in being less than… being disconnected from God. Rejecting my godly self because I was scared. I was scared of being loved. I was scared of loving myself.

The more I experienced these little miracles knowing they were miracles, the more “big” miracles happened. It was about me. And that’s about it!

Now my job is literally about witnessing miracles! My life is about seeing and experiencing miracles! And the more I see. The MORE I want to give!

I get excited and want to share my excitement and joy. To me, that’s the point of life! It’s simple and yet so profound. I am grateful I was given what I needed, just at the right time. The more I see that, the more I can trust and allow. I no longer have to do it alone!

MIRACLE

Three Physical Effects of Anxiety

Stress and anxiety plague many of us in the course of our modern routines.

It's really a shame because anxiety has such a wide range of effects on those who suffer from it. Anxiety and depression are silent epidemics in America, and many of us struggle with the negative feelings and other effects that come with these conditions.

But therapy can help.

Here are some actual physical effects of anxiety that can be troubling those who suffer from untreated stress and anxiety in their lives.

High Blood Pressure

Millions of Americans suffer from hypertension, or as it's known colloquially, high blood pressure. Some of this can have to do with poor diet and lack of exercise. Smoking also promotes higher blood pressure – not to mention other health risks. 

But in many cases, stress and anxiety contribute to higher blood pressure, and so people are getting medicated for what's really an underlying condition.

Treat your anxiety at the root, and you may see your blood pressure go down. That’s a very important health result – because hypertension shows up in insurance underwriting and in medical records. It’s a key metric for health and longevity and getting it right can prolong your life. 

High Heart Rate

Along with hypertension, a high heart rate is seen as a warning sign of other problems. One of those is anxiety because unnaturally high stress and anxiety do tend to raise the heart rate. Again, it can be hard to unravel what’s causing this symptom, but when patients see a therapist and better understand the intersection of mental and physical health, they are often able to make more progress. 

Sleep issues

Those who are suffering from anxiety and stress in their lives often encounter sleep issues. Sometimes these can be misdiagnosed as sleep apnea or other conditions. Waking up at night may be a sign that the mind is being troubled by chronic anxiety.

At Joe Langheim’s therapy office, we work to treat each patient according to his or her life experience and unique needs. Our modern methods bring a holistic approach to our patients’ concerns and what drives their stress or anxiety on a regular basis. Come in and talk to Joe Langheim about some of the best practices in the field that can help alleviate your particular issues. We understand how to set forward on that path to better mental and physical health. As an established provider in the Kirkwood, MO area, we take care to bring our various modalities to the forefront to help our patients to thrive.

How To Change Negative Thoughts

I tell you simply “don’t think of the color red.” What do you do? I guarantee you just thought of the color red! In fact, the idea of NOT thinking of the color red is a failed experiment because you already did it! This sounds like a silly exercise but is actually quite profound.

We do this to ourselves ALL THE TIME. Many times in negative ways.

We force ourselves to feel different about the world, ourselves, relationships, our thoughts, our behaviors, even our bodies. We force ourselves to be happy when we are sad. We force ourselves to be comfortable when we are scared. We force ourselves to “get over” a death or loss of a job. We force ourselves to change.

Why? Why would we do this to ourselves?

We do it because we have learned it; we learned it through life in itself.

We have learned to tackle life by the way life has tackled us.

“Hurt” people will hurt people.

You cannot heal yourself or the world in this manner. You must break the insanity and do something different!

Stop the hurt with love, acceptance, and kindness.

When you make a mistake and someone supports you and helps you learn…

Do you grow? Do you feel more confident?

Of course you do! That is the trick!

Treat yourself with patience, kindness, and love. Treat the negative action, behavior, and/or thought with love.

However this does not mean you bury your head in the sand and keep up the negative behavior!

Loving something does not mean condoning it. It simply means holding space.

Show compassion towards yourself for making a mistake, recognize you want to change, and take the best action to get there!

Love your thoughts. You will love you. Because you are your thoughts!

See through the behavior; see through the thought. And do something different.

Why Are We Here?

The age old question: What’s the meaning to life? Why are we here?

A wise man once defined God as a completed soul. No more, no less. A simple statement, yet profound.

But what does that mean? What is completion when it comes to life?

Have you ever found complete forgiveness with something? Maybe an imperfection you have or a mistake you made in your life? What happens when you forgive yourself for this mistake? You let it go. More importantly, you let go of the judgment.

Judgment is the opposite of forgiveness/completion. When we do forgive a part of ourselves, we stop the judgment. Because we are complete with the event or situation we no longer need to judge it.

Now image having complete forgiveness around everything and every event.

That is God. 

Therefore that simply means God CANNOT judge. It is impossible to judge when you have no attachment or pain. That is God. Complete forgiveness, complete love.

A pretty wonderful thought, huh?

Now we return to our original observation about the meaning of life. Life is a series of events and experiences; some positive, some negative. But these events teach us about ourselves. They teach us who we are, what we need, and our ultimate ability to overcome. The problem is many of these negative events in our lives are traumatic in nature. These events have an ability to change our perception of ourselves, the world, safety, love, and life. And these perceptions are negative in nature. So rather than learn our power to overcome, we see failure, weakness, and pain. These perceptions knock us off track to learn the truth about life and ourselves; how powerful we are as humans. The beauty of therapy offers us the ability to see the truth, find our true power, and come to forgiveness.

That is the meaning to life, to forgive. And by learning to forgive, we find completion. Completion does not change the past or event; it simply is a form of letting go of the pain and the story. As we forgive more and more in life, we come to completion. The more we complete, the closer we come to God.

And as we come closer to God we realize we are God in manifestation to discover the truth.

The point of life is to become God.

Why Create Individualized Trauma Plans?

Sadly, trauma therapy is a common need in our communities. Many types of traumatic experiences impact us in many different ways. At the office of Joe Langheim, we work hard to meet our clients where they are, and walk with them on an individualized plan to better mental health and quality of life, and delivery from aspects of the past that may haunt them.

Why is it so important to create an individualized trauma therapy plan?

Your Story is Different

One fundamental reason that individualized plans are so important is that no one else has your specific life experiences and background. The uniqueness of each human life is evident in sayings like “no one can do it for you” or “all you can control is you” – but these aren’t just trite sayings, because we really are each special and unique in more than a few ways.

Individualized plans create that sense of specificity that matches your unique character and circumstance.

Your Pain is Different

Have you ever heard anybody say something like this?

“Other people deal with (X) all the time - why is it so hard for you?”

That kind of thinking can be very damaging, and we try our best to dispel it here in our office. It's just not helpful or accurately insightful to the way we live our lives. People experience similar events differently, and it's not constructive to compare your pain to what someone else feels. In fact, this kind of statement really just shows a lack of empathy and a kind of confrontational mental stance that degrades a relationship between two people. Improper power balances often factor into our client’s past – and we work through those issues as well.

Different Modalities

Some of our patients benefit more from breathwork or Reiki;  others benefit more from cognitive behavioral therapy or some other approach. We have all of these modalities in-house to help provide the individualized care that our patients need.

There's been a lot of successful innovation and trauma therapy over the past few years. We've seen a lot of it at conferences and in journals and elsewhere. But the key is to implement these new tools effectively, and that means understanding how, when and where to use a particular resource. That's why we do so much discovery before we really start digging into therapy techniques. We want to know as much as we can about your personal situation and background, as well as how you confront the past, present and future, and that's the solid ground on which we build our trauma therapy models.

A Way Out

Early recovery from substance abuse and other forms of addiction can be one of the most exciting times for someone to experience; it can also be one of the most terrifying. Imagine your best friend, the one who has kept you “safe,” secure, and given you an identity in this chaotic world, is suddenly, ripped away! What would that feel like? Sound scary? It is…

Welcome to early recovery. People don’t want to admit this truth because of the fear, pain, and negative consequences an addiction has had in their lives. They are SCARED to see their addiction as their best friend because they believe they then cannot stop. But that’s not true! They can see something for what it is and still decide to stop. However, as I have said, many people struggle to see this truth due to fear. And in reality FEAR has more to do with addiction than anything!

This is the struggle of early recovery. FEAR, FEAR, FEAR.

What you commonly hear in treatment, twelve step meetings, and early therapy is fear will motivate you. Is this true? Of course… There are many times that we experience fear and it motivates us. However, what commonly happens in early recovery is this STEP towards recovery becomes their PATH TO LIFE.

The individual begins operating in fear; they learn to operate from it.

The result is anxiety, depression, fear, feeling stuck, overwhelmed with life, and a need to avoid their emotions and intuition at all costs. The individual is terrified to live life. Life becomes unmanageable. And commonly they are miserable, scared, have low energy, low self-worth, and want to avoid this world.

In truth… This is what addiction is really about!

This is when clients come to see me. They don’t want to relapse into substance abuse, sex addiction, cutting, gambling, or any other form of addictive behavior but cannot live this type of life anymore. And worse, they are ashamed they feel this way due to their perception of what recovery is supposed to look like.

When we have this conversation, I can see the “switch” turn on in their eyes. There is another way?! I can see excitement… And of course, fear too. But of course! That is, in itself, the opportunity to heal. I ask a very simple question to start the journey…

“Would you rather be right or happy?”

It sounds so simplistic… It can’t be true, right?

Well, it is simple AND it is also a very complex question. Being right is staying the same. Being right is continuing to operate in low self-worth, fear, anxiety, and perceptions of negativity.

The good news is all it takes is WILLINGNESS.

Are you willing to be happy? Are you willing to let go of the past? Are you willing to let life be easier? OR must you run the show and stay depressed, lonely, miserable, and in control?

A question we must all ask ourselves during our lives. And the answer is out of this world…

And maybe that is OUR GREATEST FEAR!

Personalizing Trauma Therapy

What do you think of when you hear the words ‘trauma therapy?’

Many of those who have never sought out this kind of service don't really know what to think about it. They have a vague idea that people with horrific trauma will get some one-on-one counseling to get at least part of the way out of the woods and try to live a normal life.

That doesn't really address the multifaceted realities of trauma therapy.

First of all, there are many different kinds of trauma. Trauma therapy services are not just for troops who have seen death overseas, or people who have been tragically abused as children. There are those needs, of course, but there are also many other kinds of trauma that impact people personally – and every person is different.

That's why trauma therapy has to be a personalized journey. It has to take into account the full context of the patient's life experience and address issues effectively. It has to be a “thinking practice” – not just a technical slog through journals and generic best practices. We’re talking about people!

Different Therapy Modalities

Trauma therapists also have a lot of tools in their therapy toolkit.

Again, people unfamiliar with the service will think about ‘just sitting down and talking to people,’ but we also have many other ways to treat existing trauma.

For example, Joe Langheim uses holotropic and rebirthing breathwork as a way to reorient trauma experience. Cognitive behavior therapy works for some people, and meditative therapy can also be helpful. Joe Langheim also offers reiki, shamanic healing and other models to engage individual patients in different ways, to meet each one of them where he or she is, and start from there.

New researched therapy models can do things that conventional talk therapy sometimes can't. Part of the experience is allowing the patient to reimagine their context and empower themselves to work through personal biases and memory impact that can have a negative effect on their lives.

A Philosophy of Care

At the outset and throughout trauma therapy, it's extremely important to have a therapist who does personalize the experience, and one who does not judge patients based on arbitrary factors.

It might seem intuitive that empathy is paramount for therapists, but too many of us have seen professionals who may be certified and experienced, but do not bring this empathy to the table. That can be disastrous for trauma patients, because they are so much in need of empathy in a vulnerable time.

Come to Joe Langheim Counseling to take care of your troubles. Find out more about our office online and get connected to real care that is going to make a difference for you.

Anxiety Symptoms That Are Common Labeled as Personality Traits

Did you realize that over 40 million Americans suffer from anxiety disorders? The main thing you have to do to adequately treat these disorders is properly diagnose them. In many cases, anxiety disorders will be labeled as other problems, which only prolongs the amount of time a person has to wait to get the right treatment.

One of the biggest mistakes people make when trying to classify their anxious behavior is labeling at a personality trait. There are times when these disorders and personality overlap. Various quirks and idiosyncrasies can in fact be a person’s anxiety running amuck.

Read below to find out more about common anxiety symptoms that are mislabeled as personality traits.

Being Irritable is a Sign of Anxiety

Being on-edge, all of the time can be downright miserable. Not only will you feel bad for being irritated by the people around you, it can also affect your relationships in a negative way. Most people think that a person being irritable or crochety is just part of their personality. In reality, this is a textbook example of anxiety manifesting itself in a different way.

If you are feeling anxious, you are more likely to lash out due to the discomfort this causes. If your mind and body are telling you to be worried or stressed about certain things, you will have a hard time calming down. The moment you start to feel anxious, you need to focus on your breathing and concentrating on other things.

Taking your mind off of the source of your stress can help you snap out of an anxiety attack. Seeking out the help of a knowledgeable mental health professional is essential when trying to diagnose your anxiety disorder and figure out how to manage it.

Perfectionists are Motivated By Stress and Fear

Do you consider yourself a perfectionist? If you answered yes, you need to take a step back and assess what motivates you to be a perfectionist. Often times, the answer to this question will be fear and stress. It is generally your anxiety that fuels the desire to do everything the right way.

Most people who are perfectionists feel like they are inadequate or unworthy of the advantages they have in life. Regardless of how perfect you perform a task; it will never be enough to get rid of your anxiety. The only way to get a handle on this problem is by working with a mental health professional.

Avoid Being a People-Pleaser

Another sign that a person has an anxiety disorder is the fact that they are a people-pleaser. This generally comes from a person’s need to feel accepted and loved. Anxiety disorders rob a person of their self-confidence, which is why they derive so much joy for doing things for everyone else. While there is nothing wrong with lending a helping hand, there are limitations you need to impose.

Get The Help You Need Now

Whether you are suffering from anxiety or PTSD, Joe Langheim is here to help you. He is a licensed mental health counselor and a certified trauma therapist. Contact him now for more information on the counseling he provides.