A Way Out

Early recovery from substance abuse and other forms of addiction can be one of the most exciting times for someone to experience; it can also be one of the most terrifying. Imagine your best friend, the one who has kept you “safe,” secure, and given you an identity in this chaotic world, is suddenly, ripped away! What would that feel like? Sound scary? It is…

Welcome to early recovery. People don’t want to admit this truth because of the fear, pain, and negative consequences an addiction has had in their lives. They are SCARED to see their addiction as their best friend because they believe they then cannot stop. But that’s not true! They can see something for what it is and still decide to stop. However, as I have said, many people struggle to see this truth due to fear. And in reality FEAR has more to do with addiction than anything!

This is the struggle of early recovery. FEAR, FEAR, FEAR.

What you commonly hear in treatment, twelve step meetings, and early therapy is fear will motivate you. Is this true? Of course… There are many times that we experience fear and it motivates us. However, what commonly happens in early recovery is this STEP towards recovery becomes their PATH TO LIFE.

The individual begins operating in fear; they learn to operate from it.

The result is anxiety, depression, fear, feeling stuck, overwhelmed with life, and a need to avoid their emotions and intuition at all costs. The individual is terrified to live life. Life becomes unmanageable. And commonly they are miserable, scared, have low energy, low self-worth, and want to avoid this world.

In truth… This is what addiction is really about!

This is when clients come to see me. They don’t want to relapse into substance abuse, sex addiction, cutting, gambling, or any other form of addictive behavior but cannot live this type of life anymore. And worse, they are ashamed they feel this way due to their perception of what recovery is supposed to look like.

When we have this conversation, I can see the “switch” turn on in their eyes. There is another way?! I can see excitement… And of course, fear too. But of course! That is, in itself, the opportunity to heal. I ask a very simple question to start the journey…

“Would you rather be right or happy?”

It sounds so simplistic… It can’t be true, right?

Well, it is simple AND it is also a very complex question. Being right is staying the same. Being right is continuing to operate in low self-worth, fear, anxiety, and perceptions of negativity.

The good news is all it takes is WILLINGNESS.

Are you willing to be happy? Are you willing to let go of the past? Are you willing to let life be easier? OR must you run the show and stay depressed, lonely, miserable, and in control?

A question we must all ask ourselves during our lives. And the answer is out of this world…

And maybe that is OUR GREATEST FEAR!