The Impact of Past Trauma on Current Relationships

Many people experience trauma before reaching age 18. It has been discovered that your early family environment can significantly impact your adult relationships. In fact, the trauma you experience during your childhood can form your adult attachment style. 

As a child, you look to your parents and other adults (relatives, family friends, teachers, etc.) to form your ideas about the world. Children want to know if they can trust other people, if the world is safe, and if their loved ones will be available in their time of need. The information they gather from the adults in their lives helps them create lasting impressions and ideas about trust, friendship, and love. 

Experiences in childhood can cause a person to develop specific attachment styles that often surface and intensify in adulthood. A person's attachment style reflects how warm and close they will be in a relationship. Also, a person's attachment style can impact how they communicate with others and how they handle separation, intimacy, and disagreements. 

As a person grows into adulthood, it's possible to change maladaptive attachment styles via counseling, personal insight, and support. Putting time into improving relationships will help improve other conditions, too, like depression, PTSD, and anxiety. 

Understanding Common Attachment Styles Resulting from Past Trauma 

The most common types of attachment styles adults experience due to past or childhood trauma are highlighted here. 

Dismissive-Avoidant Attachment 

Those with this type of attachment, which is also called "insecure-avoidant," may have experienced rejection or neglect during their childhood from caregivers. These people often avoid getting close to one another and are typically extremely independent – often to extreme levels. They may also be more likely to keep secrets or to fear threats related to the perceived independence they have established for themselves. 

Fearful-Avoidant Attachment

Adults with this attachment style usually experience neglect, chaos, or abuse during childhood. It also occurs if a person's caregivers are the source of pain. The attachment style often makes it challenging for these adults to be alone and fear intimacy and closeness. They may have difficulty trusting other people and alternate from the extremes of avoidance to high levels of closeness. 

Anxious-Preoccupied Attachment

Children who are in a constant state of change and have inconsistent parents or caregivers often develop this attachment style. They often alternate between the extremes of distant coldness and extreme attentiveness. In adulthood, these individuals are often hypersensitive to changes in their partners and are clingy or needy in relationships. They usually have a lot of anxiety about their relationship, regardless of how good it is. The anxiety often drives loved ones away, which creates the abandonment they feared would happen. 

Overcoming Attachment Styles That May Negatively Impact Relationships 

The attachment styles listed here are a few examples of those that can have a negative impact on a person's relationships now and in the future. Working with a professional to overcome the traits that may make it impossible to have a meaningful relationship with someone is important. This will help you be a happier and healthier person.